Marketing & Sales technique : A sale is a love affair by Jack Vincent
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Sallie met Harry at a networking event
and Harry made a very good first
impression but don't they all Sally had
was new to town she had taken a job as
marketing communications director at an
international firm her first month or
two were very manic and very busy and at
one point she knew she had to get out
there and meet people in the community
so she showed up at the networking event
a little bit late and everyone was
already talking and her nerves were up a
little bit so she bought some time by
hanging up her coat then she went to the
bar and got a glass of chardonnay and
when she turned around there she was
alone in a room full of people already
engaged in speaking Harry spotted her
and he invited her into his group and he
introduced her to everybody and they
started a conversation very good
conversation about ten minutes or so
at which point Harry invited another
person into the group and introduced her
to Sally then he moved on to another
group and started circulating Sally kept
her eye on Harry throughout the evening
and she was in fact hoping that Harry
would circle back before the end of the
evening and sure enough as the crowd
started thinning out Harry came back to
her and he said you know I've been
thinking about something we were talking
about what do you think about a cup of
coffee near your office on Thursday
afternoon and Sally said what about a
glass of wine in town Thursday evening
well the wine date went very well and in
fact when it was over they were on the
sidewalk in front of the restaurant and
the last thing that happened was Sally
touched Harry's elbow and said I've got
a really good feeling about this and she
dashed off to catch her train out to the
suburbs to her husband and kids know
this was not the beginning of a romantic
affair this was the beginning of a sale
and Harry had done everything right
Harry was selling with love already
the primary fundamentals of a sale is
trust and he build it by sparking
interest and then engaging Sally in
something that she felt that she needed
love in business is not a new concept
Kevin Roberts CEO of Saatchi and Saatchi
worldwide wrote a book called love marks
and in it he said when a brand is so
powerful that it creates an emotional
connection in our hearts that is a love
mark Apple is a love mark for many
people the users of Apple not only love
the brand they spread the love in fact
some people actually don't like Apple
but that's okay by Apple just look at
their sales and look at their brand
strength getting people to love you is
not a dishonest objective in business to
fall in love with me
the problem is when you pick me up you
wind me you dine me and you sleep with
me will you call me afterwards in sales
it's even more face-to-face it's even
more interpersonal than brand resonance
in people's heart it's behavioral
it's mano a mano it's face to face and
customers know you want to get them to
love you but what they really want is
for you to love them because love is
part of building trust
and Trust is the biggest element in a
sale the idea for a sale is a love
affair actually happened in a sales
training workshop that I was leading and
it's a trainers goal not just to bring
new skills to your participants but to
embed them so that they use them
afterwards one of that concept is to
make it memorable so that they use it
immediately after so in the workshop
very senior sales people and we were
trying to build the concept of you are
the trusted advisor and we were working
on an exercise of what do you do when
the client starts to stall when they're
not communicating clearly what do you do
and the solution that the participants
came to was you need to probe you need
to ask those difficult questions
I'm sensing something's not working here
is there something that I should know
that I can help you are you facing any
obstacles internally what do I need to
know to help you now my mom said I
should have gone to theater school and I
should have been an actor okay because I
always go into these one-act plays and
in the workshop I then put on my best
american accent and i said well it's
like love you're not talking to me honey
we're not communicating baby I got to
know is something wrong
talk to me baby tell me what's going on
and that got a good laugh with the crowd
and what happened was it actually
morphed into our joke for the rest of
the 2-day workshop we always came back
to the link between love finding love
and finding clients and keeping love and
customer service it was to the point
that the women in the group also liked
it and one woman salesperson actually at
one point said when we were talking
about closing the deal she said hey I
don't have patience for that I say baby
we've danced we've had drinks you come
and back to my place or not so it was
catching you and after that the idea
stuck with me and I couldn't get it out
of my head now conversely sales tools
actually work in romance and some people
say oh that's crass
that's so commercial using sales skills
to find romance to which I say what is
so crass about sparking interest asking
questions listening solving problems
together well that's what good
salespeople do and it's my belief that
that's what good partners do as well and
it actually happened the book idea
actually happened in a period in my life
of which I had divorced and yes I was
out there in the dating market but it's
not just about me because there is a lot
of people divorcing and there are a lot
of people out in the dating market and
we're kind of like especially at my age
we're one big coaching family coach and
be coached and what I was finding was
that all of these things actually work
in romance too
the parallel between finding love is
similar to a complex sale and we know
how complex relationships are and
keeping love is like customer service
now at my age and before about ten years
ago men hit the wall at some point and
they go oh my god whether they lose a
job they lose a family member
something sparks in them that they say
what is my life purpose what am I doing
here
where am I going women tend to make
these little Corrections as they go men
have this thing called midlife crisis
that we don't like to talk about it and
it's kind of like my moms and dads
generation midlife crisis so if anybody
talks to me about the break at the break
about midlife crisis no please don't
okay all right okay but it is something
that does happen to all of us
and about ten years ago I hit that wall
and I did a lot of searching and I
into a lot of spirituality and Eastern
philosophy and things and one of the
first concepts when you're doing
spirituality is working on yourself it's
not about just meditating and saying wow
good feeling it's about there are some
things that I need to work on
forgiveness of myself before I can
really learn how to forgive others self
love and the heart feeds its self first
in a healthy relationship the heart not
only distributes blood to the rest of
the body
it needs blood it's a muscle it's an
organ that needs blood the brain doesn't
mind that the heart takes its commission
up front because if the heart had to
wait a hundred and twenty days for the
invoice to get paid everything would die
and the brain knows that the liver knows
that the muscles know that the heart
feeds itself first so in a healthy
relationship take care of yourself I
work with a lot of people who say
especially entrepreneurs and startups
I'm uncomfortable taking money off of
people but they want to make their
business run in all of this coaching of
love and romance people say you know I
just feel like I'm a pervert I I want a
relationship yeah I want sex but I want
it wrapped up in a human relationship
there's nothing wrong with that you're
whole you're good there's nothing wrong
with trying to build business
partnerships in with both parties add
value to each other yes you need money
to run your new company but you're a
partner in a business relationship
you're bringing value help that customer
find that you're good your whole be in
love with yourself it's okay
clients respect that as much as romantic
partners the New York Times had an
article about ten years ago about five
years ago called the me marriage is the
happy marriage strong partnerships
fire strong partners baby I love you and
one of the things I love about you is
that you let me be me that is a strong
relationship that is not a toxic
relationship and from that comes trust
love builds trust
Shakespeare was on to something and I
think if he was a marketing director
today it would be called your unique
selling point your USP your competitive
advantage david deida is a writer of
masculinity and spirituality and sex and
relationships
david data writes things about how to be
whole with yourself and how to live
happily in a partnership and get the
things that you need one of the
takeaways that I get from David data's
writings is your mission is important
your purpose in life is important your
relationship should support that not get
in the way of that because if it is if
it does you will regret it later and the
relationship will become toxic clients
feel the same way now back in the times
when sailors would go off to sea and the
town would come down to the harbor and
the women would be saying don't go don't
go you may die in the ocean and perish
those sailors who said I have to defend
the homeland or I have to trade
economically to bring business to our
community it's my mission I have to go
they knew that they may die at war they
may crash in a storm they may get drunk
and puke overboard and fall into the
water but those that came home were
loved by the community and by their
women and those who stayed were peeling
potatoes to thine own self be true and
it shall follow as the light followed
darkness that thou shalt not be false to
any other now early in a sale it's
incumbent to take my breath away
it's very emotional early in a sale
emotions sell after that things get
complicated and things get more rational
but early in the sale there needs to be
something for me to go wow I think we
need these people Wow and it's like a
love affair early in a sale emotions are
only provoked through simplicity lion
walks out of the brush and looks at you
and says lunch you know you've got a
problem
you're not thinking should we refinance
the house you've got one thing and
that's very compelling in a sale as
rational as business can be in a sale go
for something that's going to inspire
them simplicity you might lose it later
in the deal but if you don't grab them
early you're not going to progress
anyway it's like a relationship take my
breath away there was something about
the way she looked at me at the school
concert and then I learned she was
divorced ah take my breath away you're
opening a relationship you're not
closing a sale who has loved who has not
loved at first sight Shakespeare again
now the purpose of opening is to get
that emotional connection but then
they're earned the right to ask
questions asking good questions and
listening is one of the most underrated
trust builders at different stages of
the sale there may be different
questions you should ask but listening
builds trust well how do you do it by
asking good questions prompting for the
concerns handling the objections and
building solutions together they say in
relationships that women need to be
listened to men need to feel important
and in business everyone wants to be
understood listening is the most
underrated skill now Chlo
using a deal is easy if everything has
gone well I was once working with the
London media firm and early on in our
assignment we were briefing being
briefed by the CEO and the CFO the chief
marketing officer and you could feel the
testosterone in the room as they said
and they lowered their voice and we need
closers our salespeople need to close
and when we started talking to the
salespeople we went back to the CEO and
CMO two weeks later and said your people
are so are our closers they know how to
ask for the deal the problem is things
happening earlier in the deal are not
satisfactory and by asking and pushing
too hard for the deal pushing this kills
trust the buyer wants to feel in control
- and by you saying do you want in green
or do you want it in red how many should
we put in if they're not ready for it
it's not going to happen I will never
forget my closing line that was yin yang
my most memorable clothes that I ever
did in a sale was this that was it the
buyer was showing all of the signals you
could see the wheels turning the body
language and all the signals were yeah
there wasn't anything more I could say
to get that person to buy and she looked
at me and she said Jack let's do this I
imagine you're going to send me a
contract as a next step now if any of
you have seen the movie hitch the love
doctor in which Will Smith is coaching
some pretty pathetic guys when it comes
to handling relationships at one point
he says you don't ask a woman if you can
kiss her just kiss her like I said
really is that all it is and he goes
well it's a little more subtle than that
move 90 percent of the way put yourself
in a position to be kissed but let her
lean ten percent into it because she
wants to feel in control to the best
salespeople in any industry are loved by
their clients they have self-love they
have confidence they give love they ask
good questions they listen and they
build solutions together doesn't that
work in romance too it's all about trust
and it's all about understanding Harry
did everything right that evening he did
everything right at the wine bar and he
actually did everything right when Sally
introduced him to his managers he also
found love this way we know that the
more you give the more you get in
romance and in sales poets have written
about it.
Who is Jack Vincent
Jack Vincent been called a poet in a business suit. He's crashed and burned more than once in romance... and more than once in sales. In both areas, he's picked himself up, dusted himself off and, after trials and tribulations, found success. At 56, he's found the love of his life and has coached others in love. He's also a successful sales advisor and trainer whose second book is entitled, "A Sale Is A Love Affair - What Salespeople and Lovers Can Learn From Each Other."
Jack is convinced that the future of sales is love: Loving your customers and getting them to fall in love with you; and that the future of love is sales: Using the same "soft skills" of great salespeople when finding and managing romantic relationships.
Jack's main message draws upon the parallels of romance and salesmanship. You have to treat every business deal like a romance, which involves courting, love, and mutual understanding. Through humor and personal experience, Jack details how every good sale follows the 'rules of romance'.
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